Dear Reader,
Foremost, I am a student
and athlete. I consider myself a middle of the road student as far as grades
and success go. I have little time outside of school but I run cross-country in
the fall and track in the spring. Additionally, I run in the off seasons of
winter and spring. A large majority of my personal philosophy stems from academics
and running. Whether I receive a bad grade or perform poorly athletically,
there are consequences. I run in a slower race at my next meet or work harder to
make up for that grade. My mistakes require a coping method to recover. I
believe, therefore, that acceptance is the first step to overcoming any and
every obstacle that can hinder achievement.
Because I face
misfortunes or downfalls, I am forced to accept consequences and move on. I am self-conscious about failure and have to find
ways to cope with such insecurity. I commonly find someone or something else to
blame in order to deal with my disappointments. But no matter who or what I
blame, I convince myself it is out of my control. Honestly, I never totally
believe the facades I make in my own t to blame and simply too cowardly to admit
it. I realize I must own my mistake. There is always a nagging of my conscience.
It whispers that I am a failure. Yet, I make the mistake of indefinitely
punishing my mind for something small. Often the consequences of a small
shortcoming or uncontrollable fate are self-inflicted. I ask myself “What could
have happened if I had redone that differently?” and never let myself forget
about it.
Other times, however,
there are consequences placed upon me by an outside force. In the moment it is
very hard to accept the punishment but fighting the inevitable leaves me tired.
Humans are opposed to
consequences, yet they continue to punish themselves mentally for the mistakes
they make. There is a certain unfairness recognized when at a disadvantage. Accepting
misfortune poses a larger challenge than can be overcome without a conscious
effort. To move on and leave the blemishes of my life behind is a daunting task
but a simple one, once I summon the presence of mind to put life’s errors behind
me. Just moving on is the first step.
I find myself often
flinging myself into a vicious cycle of denial and blaming when at the very
origin of my problems is me. Accepting my mistake and being able to let go
allows that cycle break. By escaping the weight of blame, everyone can create a
future instead of dwelling in the past.
Sincerely,
Ian S
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